All those efforts that i'm making for you is it worth ? Haish :'( , Early in the morning i was so happy because at last you called me . i smile widely . I went to school with hairul today . But nothing much , we didnt talked when we were on our way to school . Kinda sad :'( , but i tried not to cry cause i dont want you think that i'm week . But inside ,only gods knows why is hard for me to let go of you, hairul are you trying to show to me that karma has coming back to me ? Huh ? tell me the truth . I can see that karma has come back to me  but why must  you did Double then what i did to you before , gosh . But i deserve it . I went to asked you something in the morning but you didnt answer , instead you keep yourself silence . That morning i was not feeling well . My tempreature was HIGH , but why i still came to school because if i came to school you will be giving me th answer  as you have promised. But ? Eventually you says to me i dont know . When you are about to open your mouth i knew it you going to say like that . But i just bare with it . I kept everything inside my heart . No one's to share with accept for nafisah baby . She understands me the most , thanks girlfy . i went for my mother tongue lesson , suddenly thinks cock up . I fainted . My fever was high at that moment but i just kept quiet because i had enough of giving all my classmates trouble . My forehead was hot but my hands were cold . Want to why i'm like this ? Cause imissyou so much and i need you badly . why must you treat me like this ? if you were to tell me the answered today as you promised it wont be like this . Thanks to those people who have carried me to the general office . There , i cried badly because imissyou so much , and sorry to those people i have given trouble with :'( . Principal , vice princepal & mr tay had a long talked with me . But that moment i was super duper not in mood , so what i replied them is only "i dont know ,i dont want " . Haish . Mdm pauline fun comfort me by asking me a few question , i cried infront of her when she was about to asked me something . Mdm kurusamy came and asked me why i'm like this year ? i just kept quiet cause every teacher has been keep asking me the same question and i'm tired of answering it . Then mr tang came in the office , he asked me why i have not been attending school ? i just kept quiet , soon my tears rolls . He asked me isit because of *________* till you are like this ? i didnt answered his question instead i went home cause mama fetching me from school . Mr tay & mr tang will be talking to me tomorrow .I will be going counselling tomorrow . Gosh , what had happened to me ? Why i'm like this ? I felt like killing myself you know . I'm not strong enough to face what happened next . I knew that was my mistake but why cant you just forgive me . i felt sad when you treat me like this . But why i keep on fighting for you cause i loveyou so much :'( . Haish. Mama is nagging to me right now .

the most sad thing is ," hairul , i have not eaten for four days taw" . What hairul replied to  me was : Tak makan , you still alive what !

bdw kak nur shahdyla ,  thanks for those sweets words at your blog (: