When I reflect back, how I have treat someone good to me and how I left the person without saying proper goodbye. I feel bad after realizing everything but it’s already too late. But what to do, I choose to go to that way and be with someone else who I use to love before. But now, who has been with me? It was you, who I have hurt before. I just don’t know how you could cope with those feelings while you know that you are hurt. I just can’t force myself to be with you while my feelings for you aint there. I just don’t want to make the wrong move again and hurt your feelings once again. You are too good to me and I won’t let you tears shed again. I’m selfish, yes I am because of not giving a chance to be with me back and try falling in love with you back. But you see, feelings can’t be forced as my love for you is totally demolished after what you have done to me before. I know you have changed but I just can’t and I don’t want to elaborate why. But for now you are fit to be my friend. Like your way, how you waited for me till now. I’m going to do the same but I just don’t know if am capable of doing it just like you and strong enough. Yes, to be the truth even once I’m regret being your girlfriend for some reasons but I have never ever regret being your friend as you really knows who I am and am appreciate it. Even we are drifted apart, you will still use the same old sentence to me “ blaja betulbetul, masok poly! Tak masok, I kill you.” Gosh: /. Despite after leaving you just like that you still care to me like how you use too. But what I just can do is appreciate and saying thank you. I just can’t do much and expect things in returned. Am just a big LOOSER. Yes I am :’( .With all those patience, you still didn’t find new replacement for yourself. I’m just an ordinary girl just like others who really worth your love and can take care of you even better than me. All the best and good luck.

Finally dad is back from his vacation with my aunt at kuala lumpur. Dad went with my aunt to k.l as there is something to attend there which my cousin wedding. I didn’t tag along and the reason is simple and that was I was working on those days. But eventually I didn’t work anymore. I will be fetching my dad with my sister & his fiancé if they are back home. If not I won’t be able to fetch dad home. But it’s alright. Any way I will buy new phone since my phone is not back yet. But still I just can’t decide which phone to buy, but hopefully my pay that am gonna received this 15th I hope it will be enough to buy new phones. Left one more week, and I’m going to get my pay. I just cant wait. I need cash badly right now please . At last, I managed not to sleep with that thing anymore.